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He is really amazing

trbccoffeebreak

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23 (NIV)

Blazing orange and fiery red – they caught my eye as I drove down the street. My mind was in a million places – ever been there – when you’re not sure how you got from Point A to Point B.  Distracted, yet completely aware of the weight bearing down on your shoulders.  And there they were – despite the dry, hot Fall temperatures. Despite the fact that the big tree out my window turned brown – depleted of its beauty.   Despite the bare limbs that stood beside them.  Lining the leaf covered sidewalks, these young trees displayed the essence of  beauty –  orange, red and gold – surviving even in the midst of ugly.  Amazing how God does the same in our lives.  Dry seasons leave us blown and tossed by…

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WHY?

The past couple of weeks have been tough for me infact they are still going downhill because each day as am still trying to gather the strength to get through my mishap something worse happens. Guess the the saying ‘Be grateful for what you have because it could always get worse’ holds true…. ok i have just made up that saying but i know there is something like that, just can’t remember it.

Maybe i have little faith, maybe am not trusting God enough and that’s why everything is amess. I believed and prayed to God for something and i thought i had enough faith and strength to make it happen but it didn’t. And as i was still asking God to help move past it and to give me strength to go through it, something worse happened. Yesterday at my midweek fellowship,which i had dreaded going to…its not like i don’t want to praise God its just its really hard given the circumstance, i don’t know how to pray and what to say, i just feel so discouraged and hopeless. To make matters worse my neighbor was so happy and enthusiastic and i just couldn’t wait for the evening to be over so that i could go home and cry. I reach home only to shocked some more, i had been robbed and the person took the one thing i had just gotten and loved most(my player) and upto now the only question i have is WHY????? why take away the one thing that kills my boredom in this strange town. Seriously God knows how much i had to save to get it and it just gets stolen i just don’t understand!!!!!!
I know God’s ways are not our ways so we just have to trust and know he loves us so much and would never let any harm come to us, i just feel so hopeless, confused and bitter right now. Please God help get out of this slump am feeling right, help me find my way back to ways and grace. i know it may take time but please give me the patience to endure through all this and know i’ll come out stronger. I refuse to fear because he is my God and he loves me

ISAIAH 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

 

Love him like crazy

You know that song IN A RUSH by Blackstreet that goes like ‘it came over me in rush when i realized that i love you so much that sometimes  i cry but i can’t tell you why i feel what i feel inside…..’ Well that’s exactly how i feel this morning, i love him so much i feel like i want to talk to him all the time and i though i know he is a thousand miles away i keep hoping he’ll magically show up at my office today.

Ok i recently broke up with my boyfriend (lets call him ‘EK’) due to ‘irreconcilable differences’….lol i don’t know why celebrities like using that i don’t even know what it means exactly but it seems to fit my situation. We just wanted different things and had failed to reach a compromise. The trouble with such breakups is that you have not ended it because you no longer love each other or he like cheated, the love is still so much there. We decided to just be friends(without benefits) and give ourselves time to develop spiritually. And am so grateful to him because he is helping me grow in the Lord and i must say i am enjoying each step of my journey and it becomes extra special because i am doing it with him. We practically talk to each other every day like we are still together but yesterday he said something that caught me off guard. He called me Mrs EK and i know that is something small but it  was music to my ears i couldn’t stop smiling , my heart leaped with joy and that when i realized that i want that, i want to be his wife , i want to be Mrs. EK because i love him so much, i can’t stop thinking about him and i want to be with him forever.

Oh God if its an obsession please help get over it soon because i can’t seem to concentrate at work. How can just one word like that make me lose my mind and go crazy over him like that. I know he loves me as much and maybe we should just forget why broke up and get back together but i don’t think that would solve anything because we’ll just come back to this after 2 weeks. What am to do???????

This is exactly how i feel

setyoursail.

I know what you mean. Every Christian knows what you mean. Feeling like you’re “stuck” in your relationship with Christ is something that happens to every Believer – it’s part of the growing process. Do not get being “stuck” mixed up with being “lukewarm.” Do not compare yourself to other people – this includes other Christians. God doesn’t measure your relationship with Him based on His relationship with everyone else in the world. He doesn’t compare us to each other – so why do we?

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Call to trust the Lord

Yesterday i was reminded yet again that our God is truly amazing, its not that i had forgottenbut i maybe i needed to know how awesome he is.

I was coming from avery enriching midweek church service in which i had been really blessed and i felt my walk with God at that time was really strong and then i got some disturbing news that there was an epidemic in my town and it was all over town. At first i wasn’t bothered but after numerous calls from friends and family all freaking out and telling me to leave town immediately i started to become dismayed. Infact i also started freaking out so much, i was so scared because at work we are exposed to so many people everyday. I was even pissed with myself because of the so little faith i had and i know my faith should be able to move mountains but at time it was at zero. I tried sleeping but i so restless then thats when i decided to read my bible so that i could find some peace in word. Thats when the amazing thing happened i had just started reading Isaiah the previous day so i was like on chapter 3 but when i opened it Chapter 8:11-14 is what caught my eye. It says ” The lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does He said ‘Don’t call everything a conspiracy like they do and don’t live in dread of what frightens them. Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life. He is the one you should fear. He is the one who should make you tremble. He will keep you safe”

How spot on is that? That was definately God talking to me. I cried alot and read it over and over again and now i know without i doubt that God has my back, he came to me in my time of need and restored my faith and i will forever be grateful for his unending love. Today when i got to work i found out that the claims had been discarded apparently someone had acompletely different disease, not that i was worried because i already knew he would keep me safe.

Thank you God for showing me your amazing love and am sorry i had even had a second of doubt. LOVE YOU

Think i am single again

Technically we didn’t breakup i just asked for abreak from for like amonth but deep down i think we both know its the end. I miss him so much sometimes i just want to call him and tell him i want him back and all is well but i know that won’t solve anything we would be happy for ashort while then we would just get back to our usual issues. We want different things and however much we try we are not reaching a compromise. I love him so much and i really thought he was the one despite the different issues coz i think even soulmates disagree from time to time.

One thing am grateful for is that though he might not think so he helped find my my way back to God, i was so lost in the world and there he appeared just like an angel sent by God. Thats why i thought he had to be the real deal but maybe he was just put there to pave way for the real love of my life. I keep telling myself am going to chill relationships for the time being and concentrate on my new profound love for  GOD but i can’t help thinking about him and wondering whether he is thinking about me too. He hasn’t called or sent any sms but thats because i told him not contact me at all and i guess he is giving me the space i asked him for. And when am not thinking about him am wondering what my next guy is going to be and each guy i look like i keep wondering whether he is the next one…hahaha…Funny thing happened at work yesterday, we had an IT specialist over because our network was giving us issues he is an ok guy but you know how hot aguy can look when he starts talking about his profession and is extremely good at what he does. So he needed to go back to his station and sort out some things out and he asked for my number so that i could be his contact  person so that i let him know when our network is back on, he left me with his laptop and thats when the carzy thoughts came into my head. That what if he is the one God has sent for me and then started thinking about our kids and how bright they would be because combination of an accountant mother and IT specialist father would just be dop. Then almost immediately i think God wanted to let me know he is so not the one, ascreensaver of avery cute baby pooped up on his laptop, at first i was shocked but then i was like it could his niece or nephew i do that alot, my nephew has been my profile picture anumber of times, then another one of abeautiful lady popped up but i refused to let it get to me and i remained optimistic that he is my soulmate(keep in mind i had just met him that day and we had talked for amaximum of 5mins). I think God wanted to put an end to all my silliness coz another screensaver popped of the three of them, the big happy family. So that put an end to my silly day dreaming for that day.

I hope God gives me the patience to wait and trust that he has my back and the right person is going to come along soon and to only concentrate on getting to know his awesome word in the meantime and nothing else. I know its hard to do seeing as most of my friends are getting married left and right and popping ababies like nothing. I want to have ababy but not with just anyone i want HIM the one God has been reserving for just me and if its my ex then super!!!!

Hello world!

Yes Hello World,

i feel like i complain alot and honestly everyone must be tired of my endless complaints so i might as well blog my issues whether no one reads them, atleast they are out there and off my chest